Ayn posted on her blog a quote by Chris Guillebeau that said “If you’re not embarrassed by work you did years ago, you probably haven’t evolved or developed much.” I have to take exception to this. While i may be somewhat embarrassed by some really early pieces only because even then they were bad (but i was trying and learning at least) and i couldn’t accept it of myself that i could do bad art, most of my past work is a lesson in learning, progression and confidence, as it should be for (most) artists who stick with it.
How about this one from 2002?
yuk–this one IS embarrassing!
I bring this up, not only because i occasionally look through my old photos at Flickr, but because this year’s residency exhibition theme is to do with what was happening 5 years ago when the group first started doing said residencies. I wasn’t in the group then, having joined in 2009, so needed to see what was happening then in my “stoodio”. The idea is to work from something at that period, to either develop an idea from that time, derive new work from it or add to a series, or just riff off it.
We are usually our own worst critics. “I should have done this, done that, not done it, oh my gadz what was i thinking”: the whole shitshubola of insecurity rolls through our minds as we cringe inwards. BUT, i think sometimes too when you look back you can see freer expression and less inhibition about trying new media or subjects. I’ve started looking at previous work (done before the last 3 years) with older (semi) wiser eyes and see common threads that i have/had lost through preciousness and the search for acceptance. In that respect i mean being part of a current trend or on the bandwagon rather than acceptance of what i do because i do it, rather than “this is what is popular”. (This year has been one of going back to myself rather than worrying about what everyone else is doing, or what the current hoopla is about online, so i say “had lost”.) The origins of our own art can be a minefield or a mine of new motherlodes. Since the “word of the year” for me is “Origin”, i’m re-exploring some of that.
I found 2 pieces i’d like to re-invent. One is a mixed media, the other an experiment with layering, paint and texture that also told the story of an abused co-worker. (Lousy pics by the way, not as competent with the camera then 
)–shall have to reshoot!
“Sediment” 6×8
“Nobody’s Business” 13×15 (ish)
(The black bones of fear under skin that never heals.)
New work that evolves from these will neither be the same size, colourway or technique, a blessing for exploration That’s kind of the point though.
Though i am letting the rust and brazilwood cotton pieces from day 2 rest and cure, i washed the 2 silk pieces i had done in a similar manner. I figured if it washed out, wth, i still have to use the fabric so it might as well be “clean”. Well, the darn stuff stuck on a protein fabric (though the pieces are still crap to my eye), proving that cellulose is a trickier substrate for some materials.
The FAN (Fibre Arts Network) site has up the “Far Away” exhibit that is at the national CQA show in Halifax this week (or was, maybe done now…).
Now i must pack up the required day’s supplies and a thermos, walk DogFaced Girl (who snuck out last evening to see her boyfriend down the block !!) and be off for res day 4!
Ayn Hanna
June 1, 2012 at 9:39 am
Thanks for the mention Arlee, and the great discussion on this topic. Everything we do is necessary to who we are becoming, no? I prefer to be inspired by my older work as well, and look with wonder and learning for those “common threads” in all my work that identify it as truly “mine”.
Marie
June 1, 2012 at 10:12 am
Guillebeau’s quote is a load of tripe. While I may cringe regarding the workmanship / techniques of my earlier work, I am never embarrassed. Art comes from the soul. Those pieces represent what I needed to say at the time, and they show the progression of my artistic voice. Even the pieces that didn’t work in terms of composition, I still like the fabrics and colours. Why be embarrassed? He should be embarrassed to say such a thing. It’s that type of ‘high art’ bullspit that turns many people away from a creative path.
P.S. Will you be adding some boro packs to your shop?
arlee
June 1, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Marie, you nailed it—if we succumb to “embarrassment” or destructive self criticism, it becomes harder to move on with the next efforts. And yes, boro packs will be listed again this weekend, not sure which day or what time, but definitely before Monday.
MA
June 1, 2012 at 5:37 pm
I have to say that there are precious few pieces of my earlier ‘work’ lurking about in my archives – most of them have gone the way of the under-the-sink-permanent-exorcism file or have been given away. I don’t tend to hang onto my work because I seem to immediately detach myself from it once it’s done (and sometimes said detaching happens at the midway point, in which case it makes its way to the exorcism file sooner rather than later).
freestyle3
June 1, 2012 at 9:14 pm
I think we should definitely NOT be embarrassed by our early work either. Whatever it is, it is what we were capable of at that time and it is interesting but in no way embarrassing to look back to see how much we and our work have progressed (or not). I am still wearing my very first attempt at crazy quilted wearable art and it still looks good, although some of my later stuff is not so good.